I made promises and so can you
Does the internet really need another food blog? No. However, here I am, so I guess the internet will have to learn to share. Take that, internet. I bet if the internet was in Animal Farm it’d be an unlovable character like a skunk. A big fat greedy skunk.
I feel compelled to outline some general principles about IMF. Boy, doesn’t that sound exciting! I bet whoever wrote this thing is such a square, you think. And you’re totally wrong. I am so zany, when I wink little glitter stars fly out at you. Swoosh.
- I will never use the word ‘foodie’ seriously. I like food, sure. I like air but I don’t go around calling myself an ‘airie’. It’s a silly term.
- I will never be precious about anything. My ‘recipes’ aren’t really recipes. They’re little stories about food. It doesn’t matter if you do something completely different. It doesn’t matter if you use salt from a McDonald’s packet rather than the salt gathered from the toe webbing of Tibetan sleeping monks. It’s food, not religion.
- I will never use this as a platform for sickening self aggrandisement. That’s what twitter is for.
- I will try to resist objectionable and cliché ridden food writing. There’ll be no “delicate interplay of textures”, “a contrast of acidity”, or anything that makes you want to stab your eye with a fork here.
- I will try to post the good and the bad.
- I will try to eliminate all spelling mistakes before I hit ‘create post’.
- I will try to not make the obvious joke, which is why there wasn’t a humorous error in the last point
So that’s it! Some ideas for me to keep in mind.
